+ Something There {Quotes -- The Poxfather} +

Episode 1.7 "The Poxfather"

[Derek comes into the kitchen for breakfast]
Nora: Good morning.
Casey: Not anymore.

Derek: I itch everywhere!
Casey: It's called soap -- use it.

[Nora thinks that Derek has chicken pox]
Derek: Only little kids get chicken pox.
Casey: Well you do have the brain of a little kid.

[Derek pitches a fit when he's told he must stay home from school because of his chicken pox]
Casey: This is so weird. Derek tries to skip school for a hang-nail. Now with an iron-clad excuse, he wants to go? Something smells.
Edwin: It wasn't me, I swear!

Casey: Poor Derek. He's got a horrible, itchy condition that makes you feel totally disgusting. Come to think of it, that's just the effect he has on me.

Casey: You know if you scratch you'll leave scars.
Derek: Thanks Nurse Freak! Now go.
Casey: I need the phone. (she looks at Derek more closely) Since when do you have a beeper?
Derek: Since, uh, get out!

[Casey is suspicious that Derek is dealing drugs at school]
Casey: Now suppose someone you know might be going down the wrong path. Should you rat that person out to save them?
Paul: Well, that's hard to answer without a little bit more information.
Casey: Good point. I need information too. I mean, I'm not even sure if what I know is what I know, you know?
Paul: No, what exactly do you know?
Casey: One, beeper. Two, money. Three, Edwin at highschool. I mean, it all adds up to something but I'm wondering what.
Paul: I'm wondering what we're talking about! Casey, if you're in any sort of trouble --
Casey: Exactly! What are we talking about? I mean, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. I should just confront the person directly, like an intervention! Thanks Paul!
Paul: Anytime.

[Casey confronts Derek]
Casey: You need help with your problem.
Derek: Really, cause I can't get to my shoulder blades --
Casey: Not that problem! The other one!

Casey: I know what you've been doing in school and you've got to stop before it's too late.
Derek: What do you know?
Casey: Everything. Aren't you worried about going to jail??
Derek: Jail? I don't think so. I mean, the principal's office, maybe, but I've got my own chair in there anyway....

Casey: Derek, this is serious. I've gotta tell your dad. We can help you get back on the straight and narrow before you descend on a slippery slope to a life of crime.
[Derek touches Casey's forehead with his hand]
Derek: Are you feeling okay?
Casey: You are not taking this seriously, but I know someone who will. For the record, I'm doing this for your own good.

[Derek comes into the kitchen just in time to stop Casey from telling her suspicions to George]
Casey: George, I think Derek is selling --
Derek: Casey!
[George freaks out that Derek has broken quarantine]
George: Derek! Derek, you get back to your room now!
Derek: Uh, Dad --
George: Go!
Derek: Okay, but only if she comes with me!
Casey: But, no --
George: Casey, get him out of here!
Derek: You heard the man, let's go! (he links his arm through Casey's and pulls her out of the kitchen)

Derek: Just to be clear, what exactly do you think I'm doing?
Casey: I think you're selling drugs at school.
Derek: Yeah, that's what I thought you thought. Are you nuts? How stupid do you think I am -- okay, don't answer that one.

Casey: But what are you selling?
Derek: Me. Well, not "me" exactly -- the Derek brand. And if Derek's selling it, the kids gotta have it.

Derek: Can I trust you?
Casey: I haven't ratted on you yet, have I?

[Derek shows Casey a copy of a CD he has been selling at school]
Casey: "D Tunes -- A Selection of Derek's Favorite Songs Performed by Johnny Stein of Room 17."
Derek: A decent guitar player whose career was going nowhere until I started promoting him.
Casey: Promoting or exploiting?
Derek: Hey, call it what you want.

Derek: So now I need to find somebody who can deliver all my merchandise to my clients before they decide to spend their money elsewhere. But who?
Casey: You must be hallucinating from the fever.
Derek: Come on, I'm a sick man in need. How can you turn your back on a sick man in need?
Casey: Like this. (she turns to go out the room)

Derek: (to Casey) You know, if you had a cell phone, you would never have to wait for the phone, and you would never have to hear this again.
[Derek gives Casey the house phone and Casey listens -- Marti is hogging the phone line again. Casey hangs up the phone in disgust]
Derek: I'll pitch you 10% of the profits, more than enough to buy a cell.
Casey: Okay, I'll do it, but only for a couple of days.

[Casey calls Derek from the pay phone at school]
Derek: Hey, how's business?
Casey: Hey! Things are going great. Business is booming. Office supply sales are up 200% and the clothes are really moving thanks to my personal shopping service for girls.

Derek: Kids are cancelling CD orders left and right. Something's fishy and I need you to do a little snooping around, see what's up.
Casey: I'm a business-woman, not a snoop!
Derek: No, you're my employee. Now don't forget about your benefits package! Locker, cell phone.
Casey: Okay, I'll snoop, I'll snoop.

[Casey has been caught selling Derek's goods]
Secretary: Let's go.
Casey: (horrified) To the principal's office?
Secretary: No, to lunch. Yes, to the principal's office. Don't worry, you can sit in Derek's chair.

[Casey comes to see Derek, who has heard about her trip to the principal's office]
Derek: You got pinched, huh?
Casey: How'd you know?
Derek: Look, the important thing is you didn't flip. You stayed loyal to the family.
Casey: Forget loyal! I got lectured by the principal! Derek, we're meeting tomorrow to discuss my punishment!
Derek: Relax, it's probably just a minor blemish on your record.
Casey: There is no such thing as a minor blemish. I'm probably going to get suspended! What kind of university will take me now??

Derek: Casey, business is all about taking risks. But you've made enough money to buy a cheap cell phone. You should be happy.
Casey: Well, I'm extremely unhappy! I should have known better than to get involved with your shady business dealings. What was I thinking?
Derek: I don't know, but if you'll excuse me I have a business to run.

[Casey stops by Derek's room the next day]
Casey: I had my meeting with the principal.
Derek: How is old wide-tie?
Casey: Good, he sends his best. He even apologized for the confusion. Said Frank admitted that he was selling stuff during school hours and that I had nothing to do with it. And he gave me a new locker!
Derek: Really!
Casey: What did you do?
Derek: Nothing. I just mentioned to Frank that it might be in his best interest to take some heat off a certain individual.
Casey: And he agreed, just like that?
Derek: That, and I gave him exclusive rights to Johnny.
Casey: But Johnny's your cash cow!
Derek: Johnny's yesterday's news. I've got my eye on this new girl band in room 10.

Casey: I have to admit, I'm impressed. And thank you for helping me with my situation. You know, I can still help you a little. Of course, I can't sell directly, but I can do accounting, marketing --
Derek: You know, you were a very loyal employee, but I'm afraid you're fired.
Casey: Fired??
Derek: Yeah, I don't need you anymore.
Casey: What, you beg me to help you, I do a great job, and then you fire me??
Derek: Business is cruel, but not totally heartless.
[Derek gives Casey her own cell phone]